pkGraves

I am a woman who has faced a lot of Shadows and Rays in her life. The first half was spent pretty much in in shadows, and when a bright ray indeed found its way into my life, I shrank back, hid in fact, not knowing how to walk in its warm and inviting light. I didn't know that the rays were indeed meant for me because I had been told so much by family and some friends, that I never should have been born, I was worthless, and my life had no meaning. For 25 years I believed everyone. But you would have had to 'hid' in those shadows with me to understand why I believed in everyones words too. Then I met my husband, my wonderful, glorious Stan. A man I've tested and tested, loved and loved and who I am so glad has stood the test of my time and risen above it thank God. Why God chose him for me I don't understand but this I do know...he sure as hell has earned his stars in his crown here on earth that's all I do know and I hope God has recorded it all for Stan's entry later. Together we had two beautiful daughters who gave me more love than I thought possible, EVER. Beautiful girls. Not just a mom saying so either. Fun girls, girls you'd pick in an instant for any activity or dance. Had a lot of dreams for those two. For one, the dreams are panning out, for the other, no. Her hopes and our dreams, hers and ours, ended in August of 2010. And I learned this thing called 'grief' in a way I never thought I would know it. The 'shadows' of yesterday have slowly crept back in along with the new, and the 'rays' that shone oh so bright, don't come as often as they did just like the laughter has faded as the rays at the end of a day.